Navigating Change, Healing, and Purpose

Good morning, my sisters in Christ!

Listen, if you’ve been keeping up with my previous emails, then you already know this journey has been real. And to my new subscribers—welcome, sis! No worries, I’ve got you covered. I’ve listed the previous emails below so you can catch up:

📌 My Journey
📌 Embracing My Journey

Because trust me, this season has been one of learning, growing, and stretching—but through it all, God has been so faithful!

I’m still on this journey of healing after my surgery—whew, chile! Wait, what? Yes, girl! This body of mine decided to do the absolute most, just like the doctor warned me it might. But let’s be real—sometimes we hear what we want to hear. I was so focused on getting those cancer cells out of my body that I didn’t fully grasp what the healing process would require of me.

Had someone told me it would take this long to heal, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. But thank God for my friend who walked this road before me. She reminded me, “Girl, it’s going to take time.” And let me tell you—she was right!

But you know what nobody warned me about? Perry! As the wise Tabitha Brown would say, “Perry did not send me a friend request, and she definitely didn’t ask for permission to enter my life—she just showed up!” And here we are, navigating this unexpected guest on the healing journey. Lord, help! 😂  If you don’t know what or who Perry is…. Let’s talk…

Let’s talk about it.

Listen, let me tell you—back in November, I was minding my own business, sleeping like an angel, when all of a sudden, I woke up drenched in sweat. And I mean everywhere! Sis, my nightgown? Soaked. My covers? Drenched. My pillow? Looking like I just ran a marathon in my sleep. And mind you, it was 42 degrees outside, but I was burning up like it was the middle of summer!

And baby, this wasn’t just a one-time thing. Oh no, this went on for months! Three to four nights a week, I’d wake up in a full-on sweat fest. And if that wasn’t enough, I’d be wide awake at 3 AM—sometimes 2 AM—ready to clean the house or start my day like it was normal. But let me tell you, this mess was not normal! At one point, I thought I was straight-up losing my mind! 😩

By this time, I had started the BAM program, and my spiritual self got up praying, thinking, Maybe the Lord wants me up at this time of morning. And of course, I went straight into warfare mode—The devil is trying to attack my mind! Yep, there I was, deep in my spiritual bag again. 😂 But all along, my body was trying to tell me, Girl, Perry has officially entered your life!

See, I kept thinking this was a spiritual attack because every time I start pouring out and empowering women, warfare comes with it. So naturally, I assumed that’s what was happening. But nope! This wasn’t warfare—this was Perry making an uninvited entrance into my life.

Now, pause for a second—because not only that, sis… we’re women, and y’all already know how I get down in my email blog. If you read my full emails,, you get the real tea. And I share because I wish someone would’ve told me! So, let me just say this—I started having mood swings like crazy, and if that wasn’t enough, my sex life took a hit because things in that area just weren’t feeling right. And let me be clear—this is an area of my life that has never been a problem! But baby, suddenly, things started not feeling right.

You know what? Never mind. I need to do a whole workshop on this because I know I’m not the only one dealing with Perry’s nonsense! 😩😂

What is Perry, and does she really show up? If you’re asking that question, sis, you’re not alone.

It’s the change—you know, the one I heard my aunties and cousins whisper about at the kitchen table and during family reunions. But here’s the thing—nobody ever actually explained what the change was. They talked around it, but they didn’t break it down for me.

Well, sugar, let me tell you—I’m learning real fast after this surgery. Because of it, my body got pushed straight into pre-menopause, something nobody warned me about. And guess how I found out? I was casually telling my mom and her friend how I kept waking up in drenched sheets, wide awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep.

These heifers—yes, I said it—busted out laughing at me! And I’m sitting there confused, trying to figure out what’s so funny. Then they hit me with, “Welcome to menopause, baby.”

Wait… WHAT?! I was shook. I thought menopause was something that happened when you were in your sixties, not your forties! Oh no, baby, nobody prepared me for this! So, of course, I called my doctor like, Umm… excuse me, what is happening to me?! And that’s when it hit me—Perry had officially shown up, uninvited and unannounced. 😩😂

Real moment. You want to know how it’s going seven months after my surgery?

Sis, I am hot—like, all the time. And moody? Whew! More than I’ve ever been. But let me be real with you—I am not okay. This is different for me. It’s not just about recovering from surgery anymore; now I have to learn this new version of me, this new season of my life.

No, seriously. The other day, I looked at my husband and said, I am not okay. And listen, I still serve, I still pour, and I still do what God has called me to do—because I’m wired that way. But I’ve also come to a decision: I need help with this. So, I’m seeking counseling to prepare my mind and soul for what’s ahead. Yes, sis, it’s that deep for me.

Your sister in Love, Life & Prosperity,

Tonya Harden