Stop Measuring Your Strength by How Much You Carry

Hello Beautiful,

How much are you carrying that was never meant to be carried by you alone?

It is a question worth sitting with because many women have become so accustomed to carrying that they no longer recognize the weight.

You carry the business, the family, the ministry, the children, the expectations, the responsibilities, the dreams, and sometimes even the emotional needs of everyone around you. You keep showing up because people are counting on you, and somewhere along the way, you began to believe that being strong means being able to handle it all.

But I want you to reconsider that definition of strength.

Strength is not proven by exhaustion.

We live in a world that often celebrates the woman who can do everything, manage everything, solve everything, and still find a way to smile. We call her strong, but rarely ask what it is costing her to remain that strong.

Sometimes, we wear our exhaustion as evidence that we are committed. We tell ourselves, “I have to do it myself. Nobody else will do it right. I can handle it. I don't want to bother anyone.” And because we have survived difficult seasons before, we assume we must continue surviving everything the same way.

But there comes a point when carrying everything stops being strength and becomes a burden God never asked you to carry.

Think about Moses. He had been called by God to lead His people, and yet even Moses reached a place where the weight of leadership had become too much for one person. His father-in-law, Jethro, looked at what Moses was trying to carry and said,

“The thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.” - Exodus 18:18.

Moses was called, Moses was capable, Moses was anointed and still, he needed help.

That should challenge the way we think about strength.

Your calling does not require you to become the container for everybody else's needs.

There are things God has given you to carry, but there are also things He expects you to release.

There are responsibilities that can be shared, tasks that can be delegated, burdens that belong in prayer, and expectations that need to be surrendered.

Sometimes, moving forward requires more than knowing what to pick up; it requires knowing what you must finally put down.

Perhaps this is the season where God is teaching you that you cannot take everything with you into your next chapter.

Some things have served their purpose. Some responsibilities need to be transferred. Some relationships need healthier boundaries. Some expectations need to die. Some burdens need to be placed back into God's hands.

And you don't have to collapse before you give yourself permission to put something down.

If you have been following this week's conversation, go back and read “Strong Women Need Safe Spaces Too.” There is a connection between the two messages.

Sometimes, before a woman can release what she is carrying, she needs a safe place where she can finally admit that the weight is too much.

So today, I want you to pause and ask yourself:

What am I carrying right now that I need to release, delegate, or ask someone to help me with?

Don't answer quickly. Sit with the question. Write down one thing, and then take one practical step. Ask for help. Delegate the task. Set the boundary. Have the conversation. Pray about it and release it.

Because sometimes your strength is not revealed by how much you can carry, but by your wisdom to recognize what is yours to carry and what is not.

This is also part of what we are cultivating through the BAM family tree: a community where women do not have to build, lead, heal, and become in isolation. We need one another. We need spaces where we can learn, grow, be honest, receive wisdom, and find the courage to keep becoming.

That is part of the heart behind the BAM TransformHER Retreat.

It is a space to step away from the demands of life, reconnect with God, reflect on what He is doing in you, and receive the kind of encouragement and community that can strengthen you for the road ahead.

If you have been watching BAM from a distance, perhaps this is your invitation to take the next step.

You don't have to carry everything alone.

There is room for you in this family.

Very limited spots are available for the BAM TransformHER Retreat. September 5 is the last day to secure your spot.

Visit www.tonyaharden.com/bam-retreat to learn more and reserve your place.

I'M READY TO RECEIVE

With love,

Your Sister in Christ, Love & Prosperity,

Tonya Harden